uh.

Okay so Semester 2 of medical school is looming. Yes, two weeks of holidays does not make up for the crap that i had to face in the first semester. Don't get me wrong, I love medicine. I do not regret choosing medicine. Not one bit. Okay, maybe a bit. Not that much. However, i'd be lying if I say that i didn't have doubts. Doubts on my ability to make it thru. To become a doctor. I still do have those doubts. I think they will forever be there, at the back of my mind, lurking somewhere, popping at odd moments.

The last 2 weeks prior to the exams were pure hell. An uphill battle. I don't think i have ever drank that much coffee in my life. 2 cans a day for two weeks. A word of advice to future medical students, "THOU SHALL NOT DO LAST MINUTE STUDYING". It does not work here. No sir, consistent studying is the way to go.

So, two weeks of vacation. I kept having nightmares about my result. One dream actually ended up with the Dean telling me to pack up my stuff and leave the faculty. Hahahaha...Gosh, the dreams were horrible. I kept telling myself, "You should have studied laaaah!!!!" Haish, my one gift is the ability to procrastinate studying. Never do that okay guys. Won't do you any good.

Anyway, the dreaded day finally arrived. Actually, it was this morning. So there i was, a nervous wreck,praying to God that I don't fail. When the pictures of the results were posted,( Apparently the faculty thinks that posting the results at the pantry is soo much easier. Heh)my hand was trembling, i couldn't control the mouse properly. Then....a miracle happened. Right there ....student id number 2011XXXXX8....A. I was like "WHAT THE FUCK! You've got to be shitting me!!!!" Closed my eyes. Opened them. Closed them back. Opened them. Put on my glasses. Yes it's true! I got an A

I think my eye twitched after that. Hahaha..Allah the Merciful and All Knowing decided to give me an A. I was shocked. I still am in shock. But you know what they say "Bersyukurlah kepada Allah". And I did just that. I still think that i don't deserve the A but who am I to go against God's will?

................. I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY.I'll just stop typing now. Still trying to make sense of today. To all my friends who did well for their exams,Congratulations! For those who didn't do well, we've got 5 years to go. Never give up.

SEMESTER 2 HERE I COME!

Give me 20 years.....

Give me 20 years and I will be the best heart surgeon in Malaysia.
Give me 30 years and I might be PM.
Ah, dreams.......

When I was....

When I was 6, i couldn't wait to go to school,
I could not wait to wear the school uniform, a dark blue kain and white baju kurung,
Walking around with brand new white sneakers with straps,
I could not wait to go to school with a cool bag pack on my back; the ones with the wheels and power rangers pictures on it.


When I was 12, I was extremely excited to go high school; that was where the teenagers go to school,
To me, the light blue kain was a kind of status; you're a teenager with unimaginable freedom,
You get to stay up late and do cool things that teenagers do( I did not know what those cool things were at the time),
You're almost a grownup.


When I was 15, all i wanted to do was to turn 17 as soon as possible,
They are the seniors, the ones whom I, unfortunately misunderstood as the ones who are above the rules,
They ate in class, used their phones in class and no one was there to punish them(or so i thought),


When I was 17, I wanted SPM to be over and turn 18,
I wanted to finish school and start college,
I wanted to be able to go to the cinema and watch over 18 movies without the risk of being caught,hang out with friends at swanky cafes after class,
After 11 years of wearing school uniforms, I wanted to be able to go to class wearing my favourite jeans and t-shirt.


So here I am 19 years old and almost 20,
Here I am waiting to start medical school,
I look back and think of the years that went by,
I realize how naive I was to want to grow up so quickly,
To want to leave school so soon,


Here I am wishing that I was back in school,
Still wearing those white sneakers and the school uniform,
I don't care that I can't bring my phone to school,
Or drive to school or wear my jeans and t-shirt,
I do not mind if i have to retake UPSR, PMR or SPM,
As long as I get to stay in school again,


If only I can go back in time and meet my younger self,
I would pass on one advice to the little me,
Who was so desperate to grow up so soon,
I would say, "Enjoy these 11 years little one, for one day you will look back and wish you could stay in school forever"

Food. An essay back when i was in form 4

What is food? Food is something that you eat to gain energy and satisfy your hunger. In a world where food is an important part of life, it is not hard to guess why it has become an identity that one associates with a country or culture. Think of hot and spicy food and you'll probably think of Asian countries like Thailand or India. Think of carbs and fat-rich food, America comes to mind. No wonder the Biggest Loser is a big hit.

Scientifically, water is far more important than food. You can survive for weeks without food but without water, you'll be lucky to survive a few days. However, most cultures and countries are more commonly identified by their unique food rather than unique drinks. The phrase 'eat to live' is now 'live to eat'. That shows that we value food more for that just as a biological need to survive. I personally hold on to the latter phrase as a principal in life. My love of travelling is also partly due to the chance to try all the different types of food on this planet of ours. The world is just one huge pan filled with food.

The variety of food in the world is astounding. One type of food can be eaten in so many different ways. Take bananas for example; they are typically eaten as fruits in most countries but in Malaysia, we turn the bananas into 'masak lemak pisang' for lunch. Pineapples can be eaten just like that or as toppings on a pizza. Get my point?

Food is one of the few things in life that can bring people together, regardless of their race, religion or nationality. Look at our open house culture that is unique to Malaysia. When a Malay is having an open house for Hari Raya, you can be sure to see Indians, Chinese and others carrying plates full of rending, ketupat and lemang. The same thing can be seen during Deepavali and Chinese New Year open houses. Another albeit more spiritual example of food bringing people together is during the holy month of Ramadhan. Muslims all over the world would sometimes prefer to break fast at the mosque instead of at home. At the mosque, you meet new people whom you might not be able to meet somewhere else. Not only do you make new friends you also strengthen the bond between fellow Muslims. As the Malaysians say, “merapatkan talian silaturrahim”. Keluar jugak Bahasa Melayu aku. What amazes me the most is that, these strangers who do not know each other apart from each other’s names can have animated conversations that would only stop when it’s time for Terawih and will continue again after the prayers. See how smart God is? He doesn’t make you suffer through the hunger for nothing.......Maybe the spiritual example is a stretch for some people...Look at the bazaar Ramadhan that’s almost everywhere in the country during the fasting month. If you expect the bazaar to be crowded with Muslims, you’re wrong. It’s not hard to spot the many Ah Chong and Ramu shuffling through the crowd looking for something to buy for dinner. Apart from causing ‘slit-your-wrist’ traffic jams, the bazaar Ramadhan is the ideal example of racial unity. A living advertisement for One Malaysia I suppose. Now if only these bazaar patrons can just unite and learn how to park their cars properly instead of parking everywhere like its ‘bapak kau punye jalan!’ =).

As I said before, food is commonly associated with ones culture. Think of ketupat and rendang, you’ll think of the Malays and Hari Raya. Think of Murukku and images of Indians and Deepavali comes to mind. I guess the phrase ‘You are what you eat” is spot on.

Food. That simple, four- lettered word can produce the most interesting and thought provoking conversations. Food can also be a place of solace for some. A safe haven when one is sad or angry. You celebrate happy occasions like weddings with food and you comfort yourself with food when you’re sad. You can actually guess a person’s mood through the food that they cook. Well, it’s true for me at least. Take my dear mom for example, when she’s happy, God those hands of hers can make the best food known to man. When the food looks like it has been infected by a mutating virus, then she’s probably upset about something I did.

Being a Malaysian and growing up in a country where food makes the world go round, I strongly believe that food defines who you are. Eating unhealthily tells me that you are unconcerned about your health while eating nothing except for food with low calories and carbs tells me that you’re a health nut that cannot survive in Malaysia.(Nasi Lemak has been called a ‘heart attack’ in a banana leaf). So whatever your opinion on food may be, one thing is certain, food is universal. Food is a language, a medium that brings all of us together. It doesn’t matter if you’re an Umno member or Pas, Christian or Muslim, once you sit down and take that first bite of roti canai, you’ll forget all those differences and bond over your love of food. So the next time you have an argument with a friend, just drag him to the nearest mamak stall and treat him to a plate of roti canai and a cup of teh tarik.

THE READING LIST

1.Malay Dilemma
2.Mein Kempt. I'll finish this book when cats have horns. 'Kucing bertanduk'Gedit? gedit?
3.The Pillars of the Earth.
4.The Lord of The Rings:The Fellowship of the Rings.Hmmmm...Can I just WATCH the movie?
5.Pride and Prejudice. My personal best record: Finishing 3 pages before collapsing.


WISH ME LUCK!

TURNING 19

Happy New Year everyone!


So i just turned 19 a few days ago. Yeah i know...People keep telling me, "Enjoy your last year of teen-dom".That made me realize. Oh dear, I'm going to be 20 next year. 21 the year after that. Now that hit me like a brick wall. I am an adult. I don't know whether i should be happy,sad or just plain scared. Sure being an adult means you don't have to do certain things you hated to do when you were a teen, BUT with age comes greater responsibilities. More things to worry about. GREAT. To tell you the truth, I am terrified. I fear for my future. What lies ahead. What God has planned out for me. Will i be a doctor? lawyer? or an underpaid desk clerk?

I yearn to turn back and return to a time where everything was much simpler. You go to school, you learn new things, you go home, you eat and you sleep. No mountains of homework, no early morning lectures, no staying up late to study. I want to be that kid again, the one who didn't really care about the outside world. The one who wanted to go to school everyday and meet her friends and play.The one who was so naive to think that everyone was her friend. The one who thought that an owl will send you a letter from Hogwarts when you turn 11(well i did!)

Still want to grow up fast kids? Well let me impart you with this piece of wisdom...."Enjoy your childhood while you still can. Play, laugh and get your clothes dirty as often as you can."

Top ten things you should know about UiTM students

1)Every time we see each other we don't say "Hello". Instead we say "Oh my God I haven't finished my lab report yet."

2)We complain that we are not getting enough sleep because we spend late hours staying up to study. Don't hear us complaining about the lack of sleep when we stay up till 6 a.m. in front of the computer or the telly do you?

3)If you see us nodding repeatedly when the lecturer is looking at us while teaching, it means that we are not really paying attention. We just want the lecturer to stop looking at us.

4)We complain that we have too much work to do yet when the lecturers do not give us any we complain that they are not doing their jobs.

5)We loathe our lecturers for the amount of workload that they give but when he/she is replaced in the next semester, we say "Lecturer dulu tu kan lagi best"

6)We say that we don't miss our parents and we are glad to be free. Strangely, most of us go home every weekend.

7)High school student:I can't wait to finish high school and go to university
University student :I want to go back to high school!!!!!

8)70% of us would wake up every morning and say ,"What the hell am I doing here????"

9)Most of us gained weight after June 2010.

10)90% of us say " I shouldn't have applied for the JPA scholarship!"